7 Happy Years

Today AG and I celebrated 7 years of marriage with a Chinese food dinner and 2 baby-free hours. As I reflected on our marriage this evening, I decided to jot down 7 tips that have helped us have an incredibly happy marriage thus far. Some of this was advice I was given, some of it I read, and others I have discovered firsthand--all of it I have internalized and benefitted from. I hope they inspire someone else as well!

In no particular order:

1. Never gripe to anyone about your husband.Don’t “bond” with other women by complaining about him.Complaining behind his back weakens your relationship and abases him in the eyes of others.If he changes something that bothered you, you won’t remember to go back and sing his praises to all the people whined to, so they will continue to have a low opinion of him!THIS INCLUDES YOUR MOTHER.If you have serious problem you can’t resolve on your own, seek wise counsel from a mature, discreet Christian.
2. Figure out what he wishes you would do with him, and do it, even if you don’t enjoy it very much at first.It may be as simple as dropping whatever you are doing to get a soda at the gas station (ask me how I know!) but it could make his day.
3. When he’s in a communicative mood, drop what you’re doing and join the conversation, even if it is 3:00 am and the baby will be up at 7:00.You will learn SO much during these times!They don’t happen often, so make the most of them.
4. Make fewer excuses for skipping s*x.Enough said.
5. Wear clothes that he likes on you, even if they are lime green and/or “not your style.”
6. Embrace his “guy time” instead of just tolerating or even resenting it.Be a warm and welcoming hostess to his friends and they will gather at your house and you may even enjoy yourself.
7. Touch him A LOT.Little, hugs, squeezes, pats, neck scratches, arm brushes, etc. throughout the day mean the world to him.

My 1st Easy Scrapbook Page

Ever since I was introduced to scrapbooking as a teen I've loved the idea of it. I've spend hours browsing the aisles of JoAnn's fingering the crisp, colorful papers and admiring the adorable little embellishments and adornments. However, scrapbooking this way takes money, time, and "creative decisiveness"--all of which I lack right now. Of the three problems, I think my biggest one is "creative decisiveness," by which I mean being able to narrow my ideas down to an acutal layout and execute it. I agonize over the best arrangement and end up not buying anything because I might find a cuter item or have a better idea later. Thus, in 10 years I have not made a single scrapbook layout!

Today, however, I decided that it is more important to me to have a scrapbook than to have the perfect scrapbook. Thus, I decided to use the free (or almost free) resources I have on hand--my computer, printer, and cardstock. Instead of buying scrapbooking software or credits on a scrapbooking site, I'm making use of Publisher and free clip art and font sources. Since I'm nursing my 8-month-old, I can work on digital layouts while I feed him without feeling like I'm "wasting" time by not cleaning the house. Plus, if I decide to rework a layout to make it better, I can edit it and print it out again later for very cheap.

Here's my first layout. Keaton loves to see pictures of babies (including himself!) and giggled aloud at the picture of himself giggling aloud. Hmm, if I scrapbooked that I could end up with an endless series of him giggling at a picture of himself giggling at a picture of himself giggling...

2 Minutes in the Life of Goopy

Isn't he an expressive little guy? He is 3.5 months old in these photos.

What's in a (nick)name?

My husband (a.ka. Alpha Geek/AG/Boy) has always been a nicknamer. Co-workers, classmates, gas station employees, random people he sees walking down the sidewalk, and our cars all have nicknames. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember the given names of some of my college friends because I can only remember his nicknames for them! When we were dating, he started calling me "Girl" and it has stuck through almost 7 years of marriage. The looks of horror we get from people who don't know us when he calls me "Girl" in public are pretty funny. They seem to equate what we see as a sweet term of endearment with "WOMAN, GET ME A BEER!" I generally call him "Boy" in return, though I do actually use his real name as well. When our son was born, AG quickly dubbed him "Goopy." Those of you who have children (or ever were one!) will understand why. Other nicknames for him currently include "Little Boy" and the lengthened "Goopster McCrankypants"

What amuses me is that Alpha Geek is very particular about nicknames. He refuses to call anyone by a "corruption" of their given name unless requested to do so. For example (hypothetically, of course) if your name was Caroline, he would never call you Carol or Linny, but sprain your ankle once, and you'd never shake the moniker "Gimpy"! When acquaintances or co-workers "corrupt" his given name, he doesn't answer until they say it correctly. One particularly stubborn guy (who knew this!) chased AG down the hall, calling him by a "corrupted" name 20 times. When the guy finally said AG's real name, AG stopped, turned around, and said, "Yes?" as though he had never heard the guy before. Fortunately, the guy learned from the experience and always addresses him by his real name now. If the guy made up some random name for him like "Mr. Nacho Cheese", however, he'd answer in a heartbeat!

When Geeks Procreate

As a child and teen, I was called strange, a geek, teacher's pet, etc. nearly every day. It turns out that liking school, reading the dictionary for fun, respecting your teachers and parents, hanging out at the library as much as possible, and getting straight A's doesn't make you popular in school. I was never a "Magic: the Gathering" kind of geek, but just a smart, driven, walking-dictionary/thesaurus kind of geek.

My husband was known as the "Alpha Geek" amongst his friends in college. Though just barely 17, he quickly became the geek to which other geeks looked up--and not just because he towered over them at 6'3". For one thing, he had the distinction of being able to "pass" in the "normal" world and had a girlfriend--me. Secondly, he was observant and tactful. It was he who would kindly point out to the others when they stepped over social boundaries (storing leftover food in the beard, wearing too short pants, prattling incessantly at an uninterested person, etc.)

Over the years I have discovered that there are some hazards of being married to a well-socialized geek. It turns out he can secretly fulfill his inner geeky dreams while coming across as normal to me. Most recently, I just found out that I unwittingly named my first child after a video game character! We picked the name Keaton months ago after "Alpha Geek" suggested it. When I asked where he had heard it (as I never had), he just said, "I knew a guy with that name when I was a kid." Yeah, well, it turns out the guy he "knew" with that name was a ROBOT from AeroFighters 2.

I'm not sure I'll be sharing this fact with my parents. They already think I'm strange for "letting" AG turn our dining room into an arcade. Since all of our friends would rather play four-player Ninja Turtles than eat at a table, I personally think it was a very practical move. Knowing that their first grandchild is named after a robot may just be too much for them. (ADDED: I did tell my parents, and they like the name, finding it to be different enough to be uncommon, but traditional-sounding enough to not be weird. They are amused about the source.)

Yeah, I'm thinking ahead

It may seem odd that I've titled my blog Embassy Academy Homeschool when I'm only 20 weeks pregnant, but there is a good reason. I've always been a "planner." From a young age, I have imagined what I would like my life to be, and have made plans to reach those goals. As a young teen, I began questioning educational norms and thinking about how I would change things for my children if I could. I knew nothing about homeschooling at that time except that three of my classmates had quit homeschooling for various reasons. However, during my freshman year of college I (a.k.a "Danger") met Sarah (a.k.a. "Dudeman"), and together we discussed, researched, and debated every aspect of our lives in our free moments (which were plentiful!). At the time, I was annoyed that I had listened to the well-meaning college advisors who urged me to only take 12 credits so I could "adjust to college life." I ended up having WAY too much free time, or so I thought.

Looking back I see that I was immensely blessed to have had that time to read, reason, and debate with this friend. Since we had very different backgrounds but a common faith in Christ, we definitely challenged one another's thinking. It was at 19 that I decided that I would homeschool my future children, for reasons that I will post about later. Over the years I have been strengthened in my resolve to homeschool, and have further refined my reasons.

When I considered what I wanted out of life for myself and my future children, I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 5, in which Paul likens the Christian to an ambassador, whose job it is to carry the message of reconcilliation to God to the world. Thus, if we are ambassadors, our home should be an embassy--a place for rest, refuge, and regeneration. It is my prayer that my home will be that embassy--a haven from a foreign world--for my children. This does not mean that I will completely isolate my children from outside influences, but rather that they will have a safe place to return and regroup as they live in the world.

2Corinthians 5:20-21 (ESV)

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. or our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.